Naval base planned for La Gomera

Aircraft carrier 'Juan Carlos I' heading for Valle Gran Rey in La Gomera island soon ? (Image:gomeranoticias.com)

It has just been announced that the outer harbour of Vueltas in Valle Gran Rey, La Gomera, is to be turned into a Spanish naval base.

After the revelation a few days ago that the Spanish navy has been shadowing and tracking Russian vessels which had been acting suspiciously while in waters around the Canary Islands for a while, it comes as no surprise that European and Nato forces are stepping up surveillance of vessels around these islands.

In a recent article published by local media like gomeranoticias, navy commander Alejandro Fraga Pardo de Guevara was quoted as saying: “It is a satisfaction for the navy personnel to contribute to collective deterrence in the archipelago, our work guarantees the integrity of the territory and prevents conflicts through a credible presence at sea”.

In another interview later rear admiral Juan Antonio Pepino de Bromista-Chistoso revealed: ''In view of the recent growth of global instability and conflict our presence in this remote archipelago in the Atlantic will now be increased significantly with the addition of a new small naval base in La Gomera's Valle Gran Rey to support our existing presence in these parts. This new base will help to protect Spain in line with our European and Nato defence obligations. The measure may also help to reassure the large number of anxious elderly German tourists and residents in the area and in general promote the area's safety.'' However,. the move should also be seen in light of the American president laying claim to the Canary Islands last year, as I reported HERE...

The rear admiral added: "Most ports and harbours of the Canary Islands are extremely busy or at capacity. They also often accommodate busy marinas which hamper our manoeuvrability. Valle Gran Rey's under-used, almost empty, large outer port facility is the natural choice for a new navy base. Further, its strategic far south-western location in the Atlantic with sweeping views over that area of operations and protection by tall mountains shoreside combined with only a small civilian population are making it most suitable.'' 

The long outer pier in Vueltas port with this SAR ship one of its few regular visitors

It is planned that the base will initially be home to 3 to 5 warships only during phase one. The current almost empty ferry terminal is to be converted into the naval base's command centre and an additional two floors will be added on top of this. The pier ''will get a long-range radar, a watchtower, fuel storage and ancillary facilities''. The ferry 'Benchi Express' will continue to operate from Vueltas, but will be moved to the old pier in the inner harbour. 

It remains to be seen how the spending power of the sailors when on leave will transform the nightlife of Valle Gran Rey when the naval base comes into operation on April 1st, 2027...ahoy there!

The New Age dawns in La Gomera

The boutique apartments with small shopping arcade and the attached 'Piano Bar' on the promenade in La Playa, Valle Gran Rey, collectively trading as 'Gomeralounge' is set for transformation to be La Gomera's first esoteric New Age Centre. ''This new exciting development constitutes a further organic cultural shift in the direction of my important societal aims'' owner Thomas Mueller is quoted as stating recently, adding that he will ''continue the wearisome work to culturally educate the mostly rural populace of La Gomera. I promise to strive to maintain my successful fostering of mainland flamenco in this remote isle, while also giving a platform to my own culturally significant work'', to quote Maestro Mueller from one of his frequent lengthy public speeches. By the way, with his voice and accent he sounds uncannily like former German chancellor Helmut Kohl.

The penny wise patron of the arts is now going to hand over the reigns of his flagship premises to Sandra and Daniel who amassed a fortune through crypto-currency dealings and are now in a position to acquire the business. Thomas Mueller is a German entrepreneur known all over La Gomera as the ''postcard baron''. He made his own fortune through various enterprises like the 'El Fotografo' postcard emporium, the now derelict 'Castillo del Mar' in Vallehermoso, apartment blocks, ice cream parlours, dance studios as well as bars and shops. Also known as a minor film-maker and music producer, 'Don Thomas' is now planning retirement with first  letting go of his Gomera Lounge Enterprises.

A tired looking 'Don Thomas' in his gaudy Gomera Lounge Piano Bar in 2017

The new owners of the Gomera Lounge and Piano Bar will continue Thomas' good work with a new impulse of New Age enthusiasm and intend to '' foster Valle Gran Rey's new spirit of esoteric endeavour'' which recently has seen a profusion of workshops on offer in La Gomera, mostly in German. 

They ranged from avocado-stone carving and ''dancing to the sound of your soul'', learning to sleep in the trees of the forest in the national park to ''disovering the inner self'' and ''human design''. Schooling in mysticism and crypto-currency investing was also offered. The latter workshop was tutored recently by Gomera Lounge's new owners Sandra and Daniel (see poster on right), who wanted to share how they became so wealthy so fast after leaving behind their previous regular lives in Germany. They are now running an ''academy for financial intelligence'' and found a solid investment in the Gomera Lounge complex, which is ideally suited for their goals of fostering the New Age movement and building the crypto-currency economy.

Gomera Lounge's ostentatious themed apartments, ranging from ''Bali'' to ''1001 nights'' offer accommodation for the ever-increasing number of esoterically minded tourists visiting La Gomera and especially Valle Gran Rey who are looking for magic inspiration and mystic enlightenment. These are all seeking suitably esoteric environs and are willing to pay above the standard rate for same. The premises' attached Piano Bar will be serving as a showy workshop venue during the day soon, but will continue to offer live music at night. However, in future they will concentrate in the programme more on performances on the mellow mystic side of music. This will continue Thomas Mueller's work in that direction and he has assured customers that his kitschy and tacky (sorry, but that's my opinion, Ed.) elephant video will continue to be shown in an endless loop on the large flat screen in the bar.

The business transaction and subsequent transformation will take a while, but it has transpired that after a short closure for minor refurbishment and ''spiritual cleansing'', the grand reopening of the premises is planned to take place on April 1st 2024, with a ''Meaningful Macrame'' workshop, a Hang Handpan concert and trendy band ''The Mystic Melancholics'' playing dopey dances. The donation box will be passed around as usual and you're expected to give generously as the artists will not get paid by the hosts so as not to break with the Piano Bar's tradition . The popular Nestle products will remain on sale, however, and drink prices will continue to be progressively upmarket as before, we've heard.

Most crypto-currencies will be accepted and are to replace cash transactions 'pronto' (asap), while the Lounge's rooftop jacuzzi with sea views offers customers a relaxing dip should the former take an unexpected dive in the markets.

The brave ''Nespresso Buddha'' outside the Piano Bar, patiently holding 

my devotional 'incense stick' while I took the photo a few years ago 

Cable car now under construction

Did you ever wonder, like myself, why the beautiful new 'road to nowhere'  (click for more) with park and playground was built from the central La Calera roundabout down along the barranco in Valle Gran Rey on La Gomera island ? 

Well, now we now the reason. All was done to serve the planned cable car for which construction work has already begun. Just near the end of this new road the ground station for what will be the island's first cable car will be erected and from there the new attraction will travel up the spectacular mountain cliff of La Merica. Many thousands of walkers climb the steep mountain track to continue to the village of Arure and often the rescue helicopter has to be called out as some tourists overestimate their physical condition and underestimate the dangers of this path. In future they can avail of the comfort of a cable car for the way up or down, and people who would never have attempted to scale the cliff can soon enjoy the spectacular vista on the top from the planned viewing platform with a return journey by cable car. 

The journey up the 1500 ft high cliff will only take 17 minutes, as estimated by the German promoter behind the project, who is a resident of La Gomera and has stated that he was inspired by the success and design of the cable car up Mount Teide on Tenerife. His newly formed company called 'Experiencia Merica S.A.' will be relying on Swiss technology and expertise to finish the project on time. If the speed with which the first support masts for the cable car went up recently at the foot of the mountain is anything to go by then they will certainly succeed.

The official opening is planned for April 1st next year with 'a major music event' on the top to mark the occasion.

Elephants for forest on La Gomera

Reliable sources have confirmed today (it is NOT a bank holiday here), that elephants will be gradually introduced - initially on a trial basis - in La Gomera's national park this year, and that the first of the huge mammals will arrive very soon. The administration will be acquiring orphaned young animals who lost their mothers - some due to poaching as a consequence of the illegal ivory trade, and some orphaned due to natural causes - from countries in Africa and Asia.
It is planned to get them accustomed to climate and terrain until they become independent. Then they will be released in the national park and the abundance of greenery there should keep them well-fed and healthy to ensure their rapid growth. Biologists who were consulted have confirmed that La Gomera's flora and laurisilva forest is most suitable for elephants.
On maturity select African elephants will be auctioned-off to interested big-game hunters to generate a new source of income in these times of crisis and dwindling public funding. A single animal is expected to fetch at least 50.000 Euros for our administration. Noble members of the European aristocracy as well as many  'nouveau riche' are said to be ''delighted and excited at the prospect of getting this opportunity much closer to home and in such pleasant surroundings ''.  The hunt itself will obviously attract animal rights activists, ecologists  and republicans - but it is envisaged that protesters from all over the world will positively help to fill vacant tourist accommodation.  Each local town hall on La Gomera will be be authorised to grant 'licences to protest'  (permisos de protesta) to the activists - fees will vary according to numbers. The average tourist will be accommodated to view the spectacle from the already existent 'miradores' (viewing points) for a small fee.
The Asian (aka Indian) elephants however will be kept domesticated and trained by the forestry department to perform tasks such as removing and transporting trees which were burnt during last year's fires. It is hoped that they will generally replace all the machinery that is rusting idly now, because the national park can't afford the fuel to run it on account of the cutbacks.
According to tourism interests the imported Asian/Indian species will also be available for rides and excursions throughout the national park 'Garajonay' and this will be serious competition to the camel rides on offer on other Canary Islands.The initiative will bring extra tourism revenue - and a new meaning to 'a Gomeran wedding' when a hired elephant is added.
There is an ecological aspect to all of the above, as the potent dung generated by the elephants will be freely available to organic farmers, and generally the accumulated savings on precious, noxious fossil fuels will be considerable.
One of the most mammoth and innovative ideas in years, I think.

African elephant helping Euro, and eh... (y)our ohhh  economy.

Mammoth ideas for La Gomera

Above: Tourism generating €lephants
Below: Asian elephant saving
Euro...and diesel.