The boutique apartments with small shopping arcade and the attached 'Piano Bar' on the promenade in La Playa, Valle Gran Rey, collectively trading as 'Gomeralounge' is set for transformation to be La Gomera's first esoteric New Age Centre. ''This new exciting development constitutes a further organic cultural shift in the direction of my important societal aims'' owner Thomas Mueller is quoted as stating recently, adding that he will ''continue the wearisome work to culturally educate the mostly rural populace of La Gomera. I promise to strive to maintain my successful fostering of mainland flamenco in this remote isle, while also giving a platform to my own culturally significant work'', to quote Maestro Mueller from one of his frequent lengthy public speeches. By the way, with his voice and accent he sounds uncannily like former German chancellor Helmut Kohl.
The penny wise patron of the arts is now going to hand over the reigns of his flagship premises to Sandra and Daniel who amassed a fortune through crypto-currency dealings and are now in a position to acquire the business. Thomas Mueller is a German entrepreneur known all over La Gomera as the ''postcard baron''. He made his own fortune through various enterprises like the 'El Fotografo' postcard emporium, the now derelict 'Castillo del Mar' in Vallehermoso, apartment blocks, ice cream parlours, dance studios as well as bars and shops. Also known as a minor film-maker and music producer, 'Don Thomas' is now planning retirement with first letting go of his Gomera Lounge Enterprises.
A tired looking 'Don Thomas' in his gaudy Gomera Lounge Piano Bar in 2017
The new owners of the Gomera Lounge and Piano Bar will continue Thomas' good work with a new impulse of New Age enthusiasm and intend to '' foster Valle Gran Rey's new spirit of esoteric endeavour'' which recently has seen a profusion of workshops on offer in La Gomera, mostly in German.
They ranged from avocado-stone carving and ''dancing to the sound of your soul'', learning to sleep in the trees of the forest in the national park to ''disovering the inner self'' and ''human design''. Schooling in mysticism and crypto-currency investing was also offered. The latter workshop was tutored recently by Gomera Lounge's new owners Sandra and Daniel (see poster on right), who wanted to share how they became so wealthy so fast after leaving behind their previous regular lives in Germany. They are now running an ''academy for financial intelligence'' and found a solid investment in the Gomera Lounge complex, which is ideally suited for their goals of fostering the New Age movement and building the crypto-currency economy.
Gomera Lounge's ostentatious themed apartments, ranging from ''Bali'' to ''1001 nights'' offer accommodation for the ever-increasing number of esoterically minded tourists visiting La Gomera and especially Valle Gran Rey who are looking for magic inspiration and mystic enlightenment. These are all seeking suitably esoteric environs and are willing to pay above the standard rate for same. The premises' attached Piano Bar will be serving as a showy workshop venue during the day soon, but will continue to offer live music at night. However, in future they will concentrate in the programme more on performances on the mellow mystic side of music. This will continue Thomas Mueller's work in that direction and he has assured customers that his kitschy and tacky (sorry, but that's my opinion, Ed.) elephant video will continue to be shown in an endless loop on the large flat screen in the bar.
The business transaction and subsequent transformation will take a while, but it has transpired that after a short closure for minor refurbishment and ''spiritual cleansing'', the grand reopening of the premises is planned to take place on April 1st 2024, with a ''Meaningful Macrame'' workshop, a Hang Handpan concert and trendy band ''The Mystic Melancholics'' playing dopey dances. The donation box will be passed around as usual and you're expected to give generously as the artists will not get paid by the hosts so as not to break with the Piano Bar's tradition . The popular Nestle products will remain on sale, however, and drink prices will continue to be progressively upmarket as before, we've heard.
Most crypto-currencies will be accepted and are to replace cash transactions 'pronto' (asap), while the Lounge's rooftop jacuzzi with sea views offers customers a relaxing dip should the former take an unexpected dive in the markets.
The brave ''Nespresso Buddha'' outside the Piano Bar, patiently holding
my devotional 'incense stick' while I took the photo a few years ago
