Trump wants the Canary Islands too - Latest News

Will the little Canary be taken under the wings of the great American eagle (Image:hablemosdeaves.com )

After Canada, the Panama Canal, and Greenland the American president Donald Trump has now laid claim to the Canary Islands.

In one of his rambling speeches Trump has strayed again, from talking about his intent to buy Greenland to a claim much further south, namely the Canary Islands and he has revealed the following: 

''...that little group of islands, I think they call them the Canaries, a great place, much warmer than Greenland, a nice climate they tell me, no ice, and with clever people, a lot more people than Greenland, they're very important to us, too. We want those little islands and they're very important to us strategically there on that side of the Ocean. We've been looking into that, and we want to help them make a great place out of their islands again. Spain and the Europeans have ruined the place, that's not good, and they're important for our security.

Same as America, they've been taken advantage of by the Europeans for too long - a long, long time. Actually, since Columbus came. He was a great, clever sailor, but without the Canaries he couldn't do it, I mean come here and take America. So they, the Spanish, and all the European immigrants, colonised the peaceful Canaries first. They did bad things to them and we want to help them to get well again and be great again. 

They're strategically very important to us, sitting there on the eastern side of the great Gulf of America. You know, they're not even in Europe, they're in Africa, what's the term, geo-something, I don't know, but they're better off with us and so, so close to the Gulf of America. They already trade more with us than with Spain. Maybe you don't know that but it's true, so they're important to us and the other way round. When our tariffs kick in they'd do much better business with us. They'd be much, much better off...''

The American president continued:

''...and it's a great staging post, clever little Columbus knew that, too, and with lots of beautiful golf resorts. We've already got a great airbase nearby, in the eh, eh, Amores, or Azores, or something. That will help us. I mean it's massive, it really is big - you've got to see it, they showed me pictures of it that only the president gets to see - it's great, real powerful. We should, no we must have another one in the Canaries, that's important for international peace.

The Canarians really got a bad deal from Spain and Europe, who don't give them nothing but cheap tourists. I mean, imagine that, and they're poor there and no real jobs for the young people, only cleaning and serving jobs and making bananas, imagine that, that's tough, making bananas. But we'll help them build great new business and I can smell oil and other great things there. I don't know if you can, but, eh, I can. Maybe I'm a genius, but I can smell great things there, gas maybe, too. They've got cute little birds there, too (laughs), I mean the Canaries. I think that's why they call the place that and some people have them at home here, too, in cages. They even have wild Canaries in the golf resorts there, that's real smart. I'd like that in mine. J.D. is going there very soon to talk to their people and he'll find out, he'll find out. We're working real hard on this, it's become more important now, Elon says, and he's a genius. We must have, eh, help them, the little islands right there, just off the great Gulf of America.

We'll pay a fair price for that rundown place, of course, make a good deal, but maybe we have to use a little bit of force at first, too. But they've got smart people over there and like the Puerto Ricans and, yeah, the Hawaiians, too, they will see that they'll be better off with us, America. We'll give them a little time to think about it, but I'm sure in a year we'll have it all done. For sure, April 1st 2026 they'll be with us and celebrating, making the Canaries great again. Liberation day for the little Canaries this day next year, believe me, April 1st is the day ...''

    Image credit and more about the lookalike bird: washingtonpost.com           

New plans for Casa Maria yet again

I took the above photo of Casa Maria when it was first put up for sale a few years ago.

Legendary Casa Maria and its popular bar, restaurant and rustic guest house which has remained closed since it was put on the market a few years ago could finally be saved and given a new lease of life.

The building at the popular sunset meeting point sadly was deteriorating rapidly with parts of a balcony facing the sea collapsing onto the coast road and ugly security fencing protecting passers-by from crumbling masonry.

Various attempts to buy the building were made and there even were plans to turn the landmark into a McDonalds fast food outlet (see here...), but as often with any plans in La Gomera, none came to fruition.

Then in 2021 I reported that the authorities had decided to bring an additional police force, the Policia Canaria, to Valle Gran Rey to deal with all the homeless and hippies there and that Casa Maria would become their station. Well, the new police officers are there now, but not in Casa Maria.

Now it has transpired that the proliferation of police, not having much else to do in the small town, have created a large number of ''homeless'', i.e. hippies who have been evicted from the rocks and bushes under which they rest and sleep in a ''major clean-up operation''. Some of them don't have the means to travel onwards to a more welcoming place or to rent a place to stay in La Gomera. Prices for accommodation have risen considerably in recent years and with mostly full occupancy at peak times beds are hard to find even for many well-heeled tourists. Some hippies are not short of funds, though, but prefer to sleep under the stars by choice. I once met a raggedly looking 'cave-dweller' who was flashing his gold credit card around the shops, but giving all he bought away to his needy hippie friends. 

Most of the evicted hippies though have no other choice but to find another bush, rock, crevice or cave where to unroll their yoga mats and sleeping bags from whence the police will then eventually make them move on once again. Thus a vicious circle has developed which is dividing the community with some saying that the hippies do no harm and started all the tourism industry in La Gomera by adding to the island's special charm, while others see hippies as untidy and scaring off the increasingly posh and elderly tourists.

The local administration, the Ayuntamiento de Valle Gran Rey, has now been forced to come to the rescue of the homeless to defuse the situation, and will lease the Casa Maria building for an initial five years. The ayuntamiento will carry out emergency repairs first to make the building safe and will then carry out basic refurbishment to temporarily house homeless hippies.

This is a stroke of genius by the local politicians as Casa Maria and its bar and restaurant is exactly the place where hippies came to as the first tourists in the 1960s, when there was no proper road, no electricity, and no tourism at all. They were most welcome then, sitting outside Casa Maria playing their guitars and drums. If they needed food, running water and a bed, Maria offered it all to them for a few Pesetas that could easily be earned in a few hours busking.

The beach is just across the road where the same music still fills the air at sunset every day during the busy winter season since then, and long may it last...

As everything takes quite some time in La Gomera, the temporary ''homeless hippie hostel'' is not expected to be ready and filled with happy hippies once again until April 1st next year.

Sunset gathering at Playa Maria, named of course after Maria of Casa Maria

La Gomera's stone circle to be moved

One of La Gomera's main visitor attractions is mythical La Laguna Grande in the centre of Garajonay National Park, and indeed in the centre of the island, high up in the mountains surrounded by ancient forests.

La Laguna Grande offers a small interpretative centre that explains the flora and fauna of the national park, a restaurant which is rented and run by the Fred. Olsen ferry company, public toilets, a playground, and barbecues and ovens which are popular with locals often bringing their extended families for day-long celebrations and parties. The area is also included in nearly all coach tours, bringing day trippers from Tenerife and cruise ship excursions. The popular spot is also often chock-a-block with rental cars, bikers and hikers.

 Now a major re-development of La Laguna Grande has been announced which will see the small car park between the open green area and the restaurant extended, providing three times more space. As it is now this car park always quickly fills, resulting in too many cars being parked along the dangerous main road above the area, where the coaches also must park because they cannot turn below. Trees there beside the GM-2 cannot be felled to create more parking along this main east-west artery because all flora and fauna is protected in the national park. 

 Further to this recently approved development it has been announced that the stone circle (see image above) will be moved to the beautiful park around another of the island's main attractions, the Torre del Conde in the island's capital San Sebastian de La Gomera. It had previously been suggested by the Spanish minister for culture to move the monument to a museum in mainland Spain ''to give it more protection from the elements and human interference'', but thankfully La Gomera's president Casimiro Curbelo intervened and he stated that La Gomera will not tolerate these stones leaving the island. There were also well-attended protests held in San Sebastian de La Gomera and during one of those the crowd formed a large 'human stone circle' (cadena humana de piedra) around the Torre del Conde, demanding the monuments be re-erected in front of the tower:

       The 'human stone circle' protest in San Sebastian de La Gomera recently (This image: gomeranoticias.com)

 The compromise solution now is to move the lot to the island's capital where it can be better monitored and protected, as well as making it more accessible to locals and visitors. The associated cup-marked standing stone/boulder (image below) will also be moved there. The whole operation will be supervised by a team of archaeologists and historians, to make sure the exact same alignment will be observed and that no damage is done.

 The existing small playground in the green of Laguna Grande will be augmented with a new themed amusements park with various additional rides and pleasure gardens which ''will reflect the many myths and legends associated with La Laguna Grande''. Work on the project is to begin after Easter when low season begins. It is hoped that both the newly-developed attractions and the relocated stone alignment will be open to the public again on April 1st 2023, according to Cabildo de La Gomera, the island's government. Funding has been made available with part-funding coming from the EU who praised the project as eco-friendly and a ''show-piece sustainable development which also will reduce traffic and emissions in Garajonay National Park''.

New police station to be opened in former 'Bar Maria'

Canarian police in action near 'Bar Maria' on their recent stint in Valle Gran Rey (image: Ayuntamiento V.G.R.)

After several years on the property market, the legendary landmark hostelry 'Bar Maria', aka 'Bar Las Journadas' and 'Casa Maria', remains unsold (see previous post) and the building is beginning to deteriorate. For many years a popular meeting spot for locals and visitors with its bar, restaurant and basic tourist accommodation, the site occupies a strategic location on the beachfront in La Playa, Valle Gran Rey. 

Recently La Gomera's Spanish Guardia Civil police force received support from the Canarian police when ten officers of the latter were sent to Valle Gran Rey to help enforce the multitude of measures and restrictions imposed due to coronavirus fears. This police force had not been seen in the municipality previously, but their presence had been requested by the local administration (Ayuntamiento) recently.

However, these officers had to withdraw to their base in Tenerife after about a week due to insufficient space at the Guardia Civil station and lack of suitable accommodation. They are however returning for the Easter holidays, as tougher restrictions and nightly curfews are now in force. Last time they made their presence widely felt, controlling and checking such important matters as the wearing and correct fitting of face coverings by tourists and locals out for a stroll along the beachfront.

New police station 

It has just been confirmed that an agreement has been reached with the help of the Ayuntamiento between the owners of 'Bar Maria' and the Policia Canaria to house about a dozen officers for a longer period there. The Canarian police will  have use of the premises initially for a period of three years and will adapt the building to their needs.

The former dining room will become the main office where a counter with protective glass screens as well as a waiting area will be sectioned-off to accommodate interaction with the public. The separate bar area with its historic huge wooden fridge will become the ''officers mess and recreation area'' while the small commercial kitchen behind it will just need a clean-up. There is plenty of basic accommodation overhead suitable for police officers. Two of the smallest and most basic former guest rooms will be turned into temporary holding cells for apprehended offenders. Initially there is no major redevelopment planned and all alterations will be carried out so they can be changed back if and when the officers leave.

However, it has been disclosed that the Canarian government (under whose control the Policia Canaria is and who provide the funding) has secured an option to purchase the premises as ''the building's two levels of roof terraces (azoteas) offer sweeping views over wide areas of Valle Gran Rey and its coastline, making it ideal for police surveillance work and this may remain needed in the future''.

Angela Merkel planning retirement in La Gomera

The German chancellor and the many variations of her trademark uniform of blazer and trousers. 

We still don't know if the the German chancellor Angela Merkel will find the time to spend a private Easter holiday once again in La Gomera, as she did last year when she visited this island for the sixth time (click to read more about it...), but we do know that La Gomera is her ''favourite island''. In a recent interview broadcast on German TV she was asked if she would consider moving to La Gomera after her term as chancellor ends in 2021, she smiled and said that she could well imagine doing just that in retirement. The fact that at least one of her aides has recently taken up part-time residence in La Gomera adds to the speculation.
I can now reveal that the current 'most powerful woman in the world' is indeed planning a move to La Gomera, but not for retirement. Instead of putting her feet up in the sunshine with a good book and just relaxing, she is instead planning to start a business here.
As she has managed to create a unique fashion style during her many public appearances in a uniform-like outfit of blazer and trousers, she now intends to promote and commercialise this style under her own label once she has left the political stage completely. Indeed, during her last visit to La Gomera she has viewed several shop premises in Valle Gran Rey which are for sale or lease. The most touristically developed town in La Gomera's south-west attracts more and more conservative German tourists who would be the ideal customer base for her outfits. There is also a large number of ageing female German residents in La Gomera who would benefit from updating their attire with the help of the planned new designer label outlet 'AB', i.e. Angelas's Blazers.
Last year Mrs Merkel and her husband Wolfgang Sauer were also enquiring about the possibility to produce the garments in La Gomera for exporting bespoke blazers worldwide and the commerce and industry department of the island's government has pledged its support as they expect some local women who already have the necessary skills will find badly needed well-paid employment with the new label. Local gossip has it that 'Modas Merkel SL' is supposed to initially open a small atelier and workshop in La Gomera's north which is renowned for its skilled craft workers.
Angela Merkel's boutique in Valle Gran Rey is set to open on April 1st 2022, but I am sorry I am not a liberty to divulge in which part of Valle Gran Rey the premises are located. We'll also have to wait and see if the formidable lady will occasionally appear in one of her own blazers behind the counter herself...

Merchandising Mrs Merkel is well underway in La Gomera. Above is a fun postcard which I bought a couple of weeks ago at the organic farm shop close to the bus station, one of the shops where they sell a good selection of Merkel-themed cards by a local artist called 'Alex' (?) I believe (sorry, but there's no copyright or other information printed on the cards).

New hippie caves

The 14 new 'Hippie Caves' (left). Image taken about 5 weeks ago when landscaping work had begun

Tourism in La Gomera started with an influx of hippies in the 1960's, as it did in many other now gentrified tourism destinations in Europe like Nice and St.Tropez in France, West Cork in Ireland, Matala on Crete, Ibiza,  etc., etc., and in all those tourist resorts some hippies still come and go, but now form a minority. They are still a major tourist attraction and 'the main crowd' always followed the hippies who first discovered these scenic locations and the ordinary travellers are attracted by the hippies. There's also the phenomenon of the 'weekend hippies', who are well-off ordinary people having a bit of fun 'dropping out' at festivals and when on holidays and relaxing by acting and dressing like hippies, but generally paying with credit cards.

The hippie tradition in La Gomera's Valle Gran Rey has continued since the first American 'draught-dodging' hippies arrived when the Vietnam war started. However, the Spanish law enforcement agencies carried out 'cleansing' exercises and evicted hippies from their favourite places such as crevices between rocks at Playa del Ingles, the caves at Argaga beach (aka 'Bay of Pigs') and the caves between San Sebastian and Playa de Santiago about once a year. Only a few weeks ago another such campaign was carried out when hippie numbers had increased after the end of a 'Rainbow Festival' nearby. Many hippies' temporary homes were destroyed by the authorities and many of them left La Gomera or had to find more remote spots to hide from public view.

So what to do with the hippies without losing them altogether and what to do with the regular hippies that have been coming for many years ? A novel scheme now offers a solution. Artificial 'safe social caves' (cuevas seguras sociales) have been built in the vast open space in the outer harbour of Vueltas in Valle Gran Rey. They consist of simple cells with a shutter that when opened make the room appear like a proper cave, but can be closed during bad weather or to protect their occupants' belongings. 

The first 14 caves of this novel social housing scheme have been completed and the first batch will be allocated to hippies who have been legally resident in Valle Gran Rey for at least five years. They can apply to the local council and will just have to pay a monthly maintenance fee. Each of the fourteen modern caves can sleep up to four people just as uncomfortably as in a real cave, but WIFI and electricity for charging 'phones and laptops, etc., is provided, making it a luxury cave fit for the digital age. A communal barbecue area will be built in front of the caves and an elevated platform will be erected to the right hand side with sweeping views across the Atlantic. There the hippies can gather at sunset to dance and play their drums which they artfully make from local agave stems, a well established tradition here, predating even the 'bajadas' of the local patron saint. The platform will boast a fine view of the sunset all year round, which the current favourite  hippie gathering spot in La Playa only offers during the winter months. Tourists and 'weekend hippies' are invited to participate, but are expected to make a small donation. Unlike in a zoo, here you are allowed to feed the exhibits and food donations are readily accepted. However local authorities have stressed that they do not intend to charge tourists to enter the compound, which when landscaping has been completed will be very attractive and a welcoming green area. The resident hippies are expected to decorate and paint their 'caves' internally and externally and will be given free paint to express their creativity.

There will be an official opening ceremony with fire-eaters, jugglers and dancers, didgeridoos, flutes and other instruments including about 50 drummers, tonight April 1st 2018, from just before sunset. All are welcome, but don't forget to bring food and lots of drink. The first ten people who'll arrive barefoot and with a flower in their hair will get a free henna tattoo, I've been told. With a bit of luck Tony Reece's 'Cave Song' will also be sung around the campfire tonight: ''You've got to be brave to live in a cave...'' See video below:

Bar Maria to become fast food outlet

Above is the architect's proposal for Casa Maria in La Playa (Image: Martin Hartmann)

Legendary Bar Maria, which has been a popular meeting point at the beach in La Playa in Valle Gran Rey since the 1960's, has finally been sold for an undisclosed sum. The bar and restaurant has been closed since Maria herself died two years ago and was put up for sale subsequently. It has now been revealed that it was acquired by the McDonald's chain of fast food restaurants, who spotted the obvious commercial potential of this landmark building. 

Maximiliano Carne-Deres, the spokesperson for McDonald's in the Canary Islands, has stated that his company was particularly impressed with the large number of revellers gathering at Casa Maria around sunset time and the large amount of hungry and thirsty hillwalkers and hikers arriving in the area every day from the mountains. Mr. Carne-Deres stressed that the proposed refurbishment will blend in well with the already existing  infrastructure across the road, which includes a steak-house. He added that the McDonald's colours of yellow and red would go well with the sunset at the beach in front of the building, which is known as 'Playa Maria'. Ronald McDonald, the chain's emblematic happy clown, once erected at the premises would also ''form a harmonious combination with the many drummers and fire-jugglers who perform there at sunset, whom we intend to support and sustain with food vouchers''.

However, the island's government have attached certain conditions to the new licence and planning permission, namely that the former small front bar at the premises shall be retained  and must continue to serve alcoholic beverages ''to maintain the jovial ambience for which the location has established a tradition'', and that the fast food outlet will have to include some local produce in the menu. 

In response to these conditions Mr. Carne-Deres has revealed that the bar will remain separate from the restaurant to be run as a joint venture with the Tenerife-based Dorada beer company and that this will form the first 'McBar' in the world. For the menu a new burger called 'McCabra' (sic) with goat (=cabra) meat and smoked goat's cheese will be available as a new up-market option of fresh local produce on the menu when the fast food restaurant opens its doors at the former Bar Maria on April 1st 2018. Aren't you just ''lovin' it'' ?

This is a link to a video showing some peoples' first reaction to the proposal (click).

Spanish April Fool's Day December 28th

If you should be in a Spanish-speaking country today don't believe everything you're being told or read in the paper. As our April Fools' Day is little known in Spain and Spanish-speaking Latin America the rough equivalent is El Día de los Santos Inocentes and is observed on Dec. 28th each year in much the same way as our April Fools' Day.

In its origins, the day had a sort of gallows humor. The Day of the Innocents observes the day when, according to the Gospel of Matthew in the Bible, King Herod ordered the baby boys under 2 years old in Bethlehem to be killed because he was afraid that the baby Jesus born there would become a rival. As it turned out, though, the baby Jesus had been taken away to Egypt by Mary and Joseph. So the "joke" was on Herod, and thus followed the tradition of tricking friends on that day.

GOLD FIND IN LA GOMERA

Secrecy surrounds night-time tunnelling operations in Valle Gran Rey

Many people have been wondering over the years why a horizontal mineshaft resembling a tunnel was being driven in an easterly direction into the side of Teguerguenche mountain in Valle Gran Rey. The excavation started several years ago from a spot very near to the floor of the dry riverbed in the valley, and just above the large mains-water tank. Officially it was said to be a tunnel to eventually bring water from an underground deposit to the tank. Every now and again work stopped completely, officially due to lack of funding, only to suddenly start again some months later with different crews. 

But why were they digging mostly at night, why was the tunnel so large, and why were there mining experts and engineers from places as far away as Russia and Australia at work ? It was joked locally that they were building a metro-style underground to Playa de Santiago...

Hard work: Secret minor 'mine' in
the mountains. Donkeys are used
to carry the ore. There are plenty
of  cracks and crevices to explore.

'There's gold in them thar hills'

There were some persistent rumours of gold since excavations started, and now bit by bit the truth slowly has come to light: It is a gold mine ! Howevr, many of the local people 'in the know' were already aware of the reason for the secrecy: The mountains around Valle Gran Rey contain gold in important quantities. 

Some time ago an inebriated Australian  employee of the company excavating the 'tunnel' had  shown around a sizeable lump of the precious metal found there in a local bar, causing quite a stir. It didn't take long and a lot of digging was going on in remote spots in the mountains and the valley. A few hard-working locals seem to have been rewarded and appear to have struck veins of gold, because they suddenly could afford to buy new cars, pay off mortgages, and order huge rounds of drink.
Local government and and all other officials however remain tight-lipped and have refused to comment.

The main vein of gold

Gold of high quality
A mining expert who wants to remain anonymous has explained that the gold found here is encountered in 'lodes' which are  deposits of metalliferous ore that fill, or are embedded in, a fissure (or crack) in a rock formation or a vein of ore that is deposited or embedded between layers of rock. ''The aurum (gold) we've encountered in La Gomera is of relatively high quality and purity, making this an important and commercially viable discovery. We can now be confident to hit the main lode in the not too distant future'', he said. The gradual increase in the number of police officers stationed and patrolling Valle Gran Rey over the past months is an indicator that he is right.

Apart from the larger deposits which are found and exploited directly during digging in the shaft, there are secondary finds of smaller amounts of gold, which are extracted from the already excavated material. New machinery for grinding and sifting through this gravel has been installed and some of it can be seen working a bit further down in the valley working through large amounts of material from the tunnel:

Gold rush ?
Where this unexpected gold find will lead to is anybody's guess at this moment, but the very strict environmental protection that most parts of the valley enjoy should ensure that no wild and unsightly mining boom will spoil the area's natural beauty. Many local people feel that only limited amounts should be allowed to be dug out. Mind you, the Spanish government will claim most of what is found anyway, but apart from the main commercial mine they can't check  and control every shovelful that a local farmer brings up carefully when ''digging a well for the goats'', and tourists poking around in between rocks will be left alone to try their luck. Madrid will have to be content with selling more prospecting licences and taxing the commercial finds. At least the gold will give some badly needed hope in these times of economic crisis that ironically helps to keep gold prices high.