Saturday, October 27, 2018

Strangest of rituals must be practised tonight

The 'clock ritual' is the most widely-practised ceremonial procedure in many countries and also an integral if uncanny part of the Halloween season. Here's how it's done properly:
Well, the recommended procedure is to put all your clocks and watches UPSIDE DOWN in the very early hours of this Sunday morning - so don't forget to set your alarm clock to ring at 2 am, by when it will spookily be 1 am again, to do this. To avoid any complications and repercussions make sure you don't leave any clock unturned before you go back to bed after hours of searching and upturning in the dark. Most importantly, don't even think about getting up at all during Sunday, and don't check the time, to avoid disorientation and confusion. Then, after Sunday's bedrest, from Monday on keep asking people ''What time is it now'' as if nothing had happened, and keep doing that for about a week just to help get the discussions going amid the general confusion. Strangely many people will not know the correct time as most will have manipulated some clocks and watches around the same time as you did. But as not all know how to perform the ritual properly, some will have put their clocks and watches forward, some back, some sideways, but not all upside down. Some timepieces were forgotten in the chaos and still show the unadjusted time, some self-set a new time automatically, delicate ones will have been broken, and sun dials will have become unreliable. To make matters worse the sun itself rose only a couple of seconds later, largely ignoring the time change. After a further ten days of time-related discourse and debate chaos, a general consensus should have been arrived at and the correct new time agreed upon. Your internal clock will have adjusted a bit to things like disrupted sleep patterns, confused meal times, etc., while your digestive system is still struggling. However, surveys show that being an hour late for work repeatedly hasn't done employees any harm over the years and 'the clock' is widely accepted as an excuse by bosses.
After about 2-3 weeks the time has come to turn your clocks and watches back the right way up and set the new time - if they're still running that is. Should they have stopped you can just leave them upside down until the end of March next year. If turned back the right way at the right time then, the stopped clocks will miraculously show the correct time for about a minute TWICE every day until this time next year (or just once per day if it's a 24 hour system - still not bad, though). 
All the above constitutes a truly WEIRD ritual, but it is supposed to save the sun a lot of energy and a further benefit is that more time accumulates in your daylight savings account.  STOP THE CLOCK !!!
Seriously though, the EU has finally come to the conclusion to abolish the twice annual mandatory time change from summer to winter time and back again - probably in just a few years' time once all the bureaucratic procedures have been completed, of course. In a recent EU-wide survey an overwhelming majority of respondents in all member states wanted the time changes abolished. Russia has already done so, ahead of European time.

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