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Monday, April 01, 2013

Elephants for forest on La Gomera

Reliable sources have confirmed today (it is NOT a bank holiday here), that elephants will be gradually introduced - initially on a trial basis - in La Gomera's national park this year, and that the first of the huge mammals will arrive very soon. The administration will be acquiring orphaned young animals who lost their mothers - some due to poaching as a consequence of the illegal ivory trade, and some orphaned due to natural causes - from countries in Africa and Asia.
It is planned to get them accustomed to climate and terrain until they become independent. Then they will be released in the national park and the abundance of greenery there should keep them well-fed and healthy to ensure their rapid growth. Biologists who were consulted have confirmed that La Gomera's flora and laurisilva forest is most suitable for elephants.
On maturity select African elephants will be auctioned-off to interested big-game hunters to generate a new source of income in these times of crisis and dwindling public funding. A single animal is expected to fetch at least 50.000 Euros for our administration. Noble members of the European aristocracy as well as many  'nouveau riche' are said to be ''delighted and excited at the prospect of getting this opportunity much closer to home and in such pleasant surroundings ''.  The hunt itself will obviously attract animal rights activists, ecologists  and republicans - but it is envisaged that protesters from all over the world will positively help to fill vacant tourist accommodation.  Each local town hall on La Gomera will be be authorised to grant 'licences to protest'  (permisos de protesta) to the activists - fees will vary according to numbers. The average tourist will be accommodated to view the spectacle from the already existent 'miradores' (viewing points) for a small fee.
The Asian (aka Indian) elephants however will be kept domesticated and trained by the forestry department to perform tasks such as removing and transporting trees which were burnt during last year's fires. It is hoped that they will generally replace all the machinery that is rusting idly now, because the national park can't afford the fuel to run it on account of the cutbacks.
According to tourism interests the imported Asian/Indian species will also be available for rides and excursions throughout the national park 'Garajonay' and this will be serious competition to the camel rides on offer on other Canary Islands.The initiative will bring extra tourism revenue - and a new meaning to 'a Gomeran wedding' when a hired elephant is added.
There is an ecological aspect to all of the above, as the potent dung generated by the elephants will be freely available to organic farmers, and generally the accumulated savings on precious, noxious fossil fuels will be considerable.
One of the most mammoth and innovative ideas in years, I think.


African elephant helping Euro, and eh... (y)our ohhh  economy.


Mammoth ideas for La Gomera
Above: Tourism generating €lephants
Below: Asian elephant saving
Euro...and diesel.



2 comments :

neil said...

Didn't fool me!! Nice try though.

Changing the subject, have you heard Vicente Amigo's new CD, 'Tierra'? On it he works with musicians and arrangements that have more than a touch of irish.

Willie said...

It (or rather they - the elephants) would work, though.
... and yes, that is a great new CD.